If you are feeling self-conscious about having to take out a debt consolidation, don’t feel bad…so did the United States Government. According to an article on The Onion, our beloved government entered into a debt management program with a firm called E-Z Debt Services to help us all get relief from our staggering US public debt.

The terms were pretty straight forward

As of press time, the national debt stands at $6,144,393,982,061.52. Under the terms of the consolidation, E-Z Debt Services will repay the nation’s estimated 45,000 creditors, a majority of whom are foreign investors, insurance companies, banks, and other privately held entities. In return, the U.S will make a single monthly payment of $9.26 billion, adjusted for inflation, to E-Z Debt every month for the next 70 years.

Before I go any further, this article is, of course, a spoof. For that matter, it was written in 2002 and even then, it painted a frighteningly funny picture of what our befuddled government was doing with the national purse.

Just to be current, the outstanding public debt at the writing of this article is $9,244,111,233,460.80 according to the U.S. National Debt Clock. If that figure is too unwieldy to wrap your mind around, it breaks down a little something like this

The estimated population of the United States is 304,309,084 so each citizen’s share of this debt is $30,377.38. The National Debt has continued to increase an average of $1.48 billion per day since September 29, 2006!

It is sad that a mock article written in 2002 not only remains true but has gotten WORSE! If nothing more, may this serve as a cautionary tale for us Debt Hackers to be vigilant in neither underestimating nor irresponsibly handling our personal debt lest it careen out of control like that of the good old U.S.A.

Read the full article at TheOnion.com.

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